Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional,
social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.
Parenting refers to the activity of raising a child rather than the biological

In the case of humans, it is usually done by the biological parents of the child
in question, although governments and society take a role as well. In many cases,
orphaned or abandoned children receive parental care from non-parent blood
relations. Others may be adopted, raised by foster care, or be placed in an

The goals of human parenting are debated. Usually, parental figures provide for
a child's physical needs, protect them from harm, and impart in them skills and
cultural values until they reach legal adulthood, usually after adolescence.
Among non-human species, parenting is usually less lengthy and complicated,
though mammals tend to nurture their young extensively. The degree of attention
parents invest in their offspring is largely inversely proportional to the number
of offspring the average adult in the species produces.

Parenting practices

Rules of traffic – an instructional approach to discipline where parents explain to
their children how to behave, teaching the rules of behavior as they would the rules
of traffic, with little explanation or deeper moral and social implications.

Fine gardening – parents believe that children have positive and negative qualities,
the latter of which parents should "weed out" or "prune" into an appropriate shape.

Rewards and punishments – a method of discipline based on operant conditioning: for a
good behavior the child receives a reward or praise, and for a bad or unwanted behavior
the child receives a punishment or reprimand.

Concerted cultivation – fostering children's talents through organized leisure activities.
Parents challenge their children to think critically and to speak properly and frequently,
especially with other adults.





A parenting style is a psychological construct representing standard strategies
that parents use in their child rearing. There are many differing theories and
opinions on the best ways to rear children, as well as differing levels of time
and effort that parents are willing to invest.

Many parents create their own style from a combination of factors, and these may
evolve over time as the children develop their own personalities and move through
life's stages. Parenting style is affected by both the parents' and children's
temperaments, and is largely based on the influence of one’s own parents and culture.
"Most parents learn parenting practices from their own parents — some they accept,
some they discard." The degree to which a child's education is part of parenting is
a further matter of debate.

Parenting styles




1. What you do matters. Whether it's your own health behaviors or the way you
treat other people, your children are learning from what you do. "This is one
of the most important principles," Steinberg explains. "What you do makes a
difference...Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, What do
I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?"

2. You cannot be too loving. "It is simply not possible to spoil a child with
love," Steinberg writes. "What we often think of as the product of spoiling a
child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the
consequence of giving a child things in place of love -- things like leniency,
lowered expectations, or material possessions."

3. Be involved in your child's life. "Being an involved parent takes time and
is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities.
It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs
to do. Be there mentally as well as physically."

Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or correcting it.
"Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not,"
Steinberg says. "If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know
what the child is learning."

4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace with your child's development.
Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior.

"The same drive for independence that is making your 3-year-old say 'no' all the
time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained," writes Steinberg. "The same
intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive
in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table."

5. Establish and set rules. "If you don't manage your child's behavior when he is
young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older
and you aren't around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to
answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my
child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules
he applies to himself.

"But you can't micromanage your child," Steinberg notes. "Once they're in middle
school, you need to let the child do their own homework, make their own choices
and not intervene."

6. Foster your child's independence. "Setting limits helps your child develop a sense
of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction.
To be successful in life, she's going to need both."

It's normal for children to push for autonomy, says Steinberg. "Many parents mistakenly
equate their child's independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push
for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather
than to feel controlled by someone else."

7. Be consistent. "If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion or if
you enforce them only intermittently, your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his.
Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables.
The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will
challenge it."

8. Avoid harsh discipline. Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances,
Steinberg says. "Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting
with other children," he writes. "They are more likely to be bullies and more likely
to use aggression to solve disputes with others."

"There are many other ways to discipline a child -- including 'time out' -- which work
better and do not involve aggression."

9. Explain your rules and decisions. "Good parents have expectations they want their
child to live up to," he writes. "Generally, parents overexplain to young children and
underexplain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old.
He doesn't have the priorities, judgment, or experience that you have."

10. Treat your child with respect. "The best way to get respectful treatment from your
child is to treat him respectfully," Steinberg writes. "You should give your child the
same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion.
Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can.
Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child
is the foundation for her relationships with others."

For example, if your child is a picky eater: "I personally don't think parents should make
a big deal about eating," Steinberg says. "Children develop food preferences. They often
go through them in stages. You don't want to turn mealtimes into unpleasant occasions. Just
don't make the mistake of substituting unhealthy foods. If you don't keep junk food in the
house, they won't eat it."

Good Parenting: How to Raise a Healthy




When children are effectively parented, they feel better about themselves
and their abilities. They enter school excited and ready to learn. And,
they are more likely to both achieve to their fullest potential at school
and to make positive contributions to community life.

These effectively parented children are also more prone, as they become
adults, to be healthy, law-abiding citizens, and to have successful careers
and family lives.

So, the gift of effective parenting is one that keeps on giving!

1. Nurture your child's self-esteem. Your words and actions as a parent affect
your child's developing self-esteem more than anything else. Praising your
child's accomplishments, however small, will make him or her feel proud; letting
your child do things independently will make him or her feel capable and strong.
By contrast, belittling comments or comparing your child unfavorably with another
will make him or her feel worthless.

2. Catch your child being good. Have you ever stopped to think about how many
times you react negatively to your child in a given day?The more effective
parenting approach is to make a point of finding something to praise every day.
Be generous with rewards - your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders
and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are "growing" more of the
behavior you would like to see.

3. Set limits and be consistent with your discipline. Discipline is necessary
in every household. The goal of discipline is to help children choose acceptable
behaviors and learn self-control. Establishing house rules will help children
understand your expectations and develop self-control. You may want to have a
system in place: one warning, followed by consequences such as a "time out" or
loss of privileges.

4. Make time for your children. With so many demands on your time, it's often
difficult for parents and children to get together for a family meal, let alone
spend some quality time together. Children who are not getting the attention
they want from their parents often act out or misbehave because they are assured
of being noticed that way. Many parents find it mutually rewarding to have
pre-scheduled time with their child on a regular basis. Create a "special night"
each week to be together and let him or her help decide how you will spend your
time. Look for other ways to connect with your child - put a note or something
special in his or her lunch box.

5. Be a good role model. Young children learn a great deal about how to act by
watching you. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you
lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: is that how
you want your child to behave when he or she is angry? Be constantly aware that
you are being observed by your children. Model the traits you wish to cultivate
in your child: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Exhibit
unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward.
Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your children the way you
expect other people to treat you.

6. Make communication a priority. You can't expect children to do everything simply
because you, as a parent, "say so." Children want and deserve explanations as much
as adults do. Parents who reason with their children allow them to understand and
learn in a nonjudgmental way. Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem,
describe it to your child, express your feelings about it, and invite your child
to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions
and offer choices. Be open to your child's suggestions as well. Children who
participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.

7. Be flexible and willing to adjust your parenting style. If you frequently feel
"let down" by your child's behavior, it may be because you have unrealistic
expectations. As your child changes, you will gradually have to change your
parenting style. Chances are, what works with your child now won't work as well in
a year or two.

8. Show that your love is unconditional. As an effective parent, you are responsible
for correcting and guiding your child. But how you express your corrective guidance
makes all the difference in how your child receives it. When you have to confront
your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which undermine self-esteem
and can lead to resentment. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage, even when you
are disciplining your child. Make sure he or she knows that although you want and
expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.

9. Be aware of your own needs and limitations as an effective parent. Face it - you are
an imperfect parent. You have strengths and weaknesses as a family leader. Recognize
your abilities and vow to work on your weaknesses. Try to have realistic expectations
for yourself, your spouse, and your children. You don't have to have all the answers -
be forgiving of yourself. And try to make parenting a manageable job. Focus on the areas
that need the most attention rather than trying to address everything all at once. Admit
it when you're burned out. Take time out from parenting to do things that will make you
happy as a person (or as a couple). Focusing on your needs does not make you selfish. It
simply means you care about your own well-being, which is another important value to model
for your children.

How to Parent Effectively




How to Balance Work and Parenting As a Single Parent

How to Practice Conscious Parenting

How to Encourage Your Spouse to Interact with the Kids

How to Get Your Children up in the Morning

How to Stop Your Child From Masturbating in Public

How to Give a Spanking

How to Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship

How to Determine if a Child is Transgender

How to Answer Where Do Babies Come From

How to Be a Good Parent

How to Get Your Adult Children to Move Out

How to Deal With a Spoiled Brat

How to Be a Good Father

How to Be a Good Husband and Father


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