HOW TO BE A GOOD FRIEND
TYPES OF FRIENDSHIP
HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS
FRIENDSHIP RELATED TOPICS LINKS
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A person other than a family member, spouse or lover whose company
one enjoys and towards whom one feels affection. John and I have
been friends ever since we were roommates at college.
Trust is important between friends. I used to find it hard to make
friends when I was shy.
A boyfriend or girlfriend.
An associate who provides assistance. The Automobile Association is
every motorist’s friend. The police is every law abiding citizen’s
A person with whom one is vaguely or indirectly acquainted a friend
of a friend I added him as a friend on Facebook, but I hardly know
A person who backs or supports something. I’m not a friend of
An object or idea that can be used for good. Google is your friend.
Used as a form of address when warning someone. You’d better watch
In object-oriented programming, a function or class granted special
access to the private and protected members of another class.
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Being a good friend is about being reliable, kind- hearted
and thoughtful. In this way you'll develop and maintain a
friendship that lasts for years. One good friend is priceless.
Taking the time to nurture a friendship is worth every moment.
1. Be real.
Connect with people whose friendship you value and see as sustainable
long-term. Good friendships don't arise from hoping someone else's
popularity or networks will rub off on you. Rather, a good friendship
comes about by being with people who connect with you at a basic level.
If you're trying to be friends with a person just to be accepted into
a certain clique, or because you'd like to get to know someone else
that he or she knows, that's not friendship – it's opportunism – and
eventually you'll regret the shallow nature of your involvement. Every
new person you meet has the right to be accepted (or not) on his or her
own merits, so it's better to just be yourself than to let anyone else
influence you into being someone you are not.
In turn, you have a responsibility to fill their life with good memories
and happy moments. Bear in mind it's better to be detested for who you
are, than to be liked for who you aren't and good friendships withstand
differences of opinion or outlooks anyway and never leave your friends
2. Be honest.
A dishonest person has no chance of having true friends because it's
hard to rely or trust a person who doesn't behave in a supportive,
consistent or trustworthy way. Keep your promises, do what you say you
are going to do, and most importantly––don't lie! Lying happens in those
moments when you say "Okay, I will..." but you never do or you only
fulfill part of what you promised. Eventually people will figure you out
and realize that you don't do what you say you will. If you've found
yourself lying about doing things, then not trying to keep your word,
start owning up to it and stop doing it. If you can't do something,
explain so and trust that the friendship is strong enough for the no's
as well as the yeses. And start being dependable when you say that you
will do something. Don't tell other people their secrets!
If you know you were at fault for a missed opportunity, own up. Simply
talk about it and hope that your friend will forgive you. They'd most
likely appreciate it in the future, to look back and say, "Wow! I've had
an amazing friend by my side." But, if you're changing, flip-flopping and
undependable––that feels like you were not a good friend.
Good friendship is based on trust. If you break a friend's trust, the
friendship may be very hard to salvage. Of course, if you have made a
promise and planned to keep it, but circumstances beyond your control
conspire to prevent it, let your friend know as soon as you find out.
Don't wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call
and say, "Gee, I'm sorry." Instead, make a quick call to say, "Hey, I
know I promised to help you with whatever it is, but my husband is
telling me we're going to our country house for the weekend, and leaving
tomorrow just after work - that means I won't be able to make it. I'm so
sorry. Can we reschedule?" That's just honoring the fact that your friend
is counting on you, and respecting the fact that, given a little notice,
your friend might just be able to get someone else to help with whatever
it was. At least you won't be hanging your friend out to twist in the wind.
3. Be loyal.
If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep that confidence and
don't talk about it to anyone else. It's what you'd expect in return and so
be tight lipped about the matter. Don't discuss your friend behind their
back and don't spread rumors about the confidences they've imparted to you.
Rule out gossip or backstabbing when it comes to friendship! Never say
anything about your friend that you would not be prepared to repeat to their
face. Don't let others say bad things about your friend. Until you've had a
chance to hear your friend's side of the story, treat comments that are not
supportive as hearsay and rumors. If someone says something that shocks you
and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, then respond with
something like: "I know him/her, and that just doesn't sound right. Let me
talk to him/her, find out his/her perspective on this. If it turns out to be
true, I'll let you know. Until then, I would appreciate it, if you didn't
spread that around, because that might not be what was really meant or
Do not tell anyone if your friend has a crush on someone. They would feel bad
if you have told someone that they would not wish to tell or a person that
would spread a message about them.
4. Be respectful.
Good friends respect one another and show this by being openly and mutually
supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align
with your own, respect their choices and be open to listening about them.
Don't mock or belittle what they believe in; instead, be understanding and
try to keep learning. Over time, the differences will make both of you
stronger and better people as well as stronger friends. Always listen to
what your friend has to say. Sometimes your friend will say things that you
find boring, uncomfortable or annoying but if you have respect for your
friend, you'll override these feelings with the desire to listen openly and
give your friend the space to say what is needed and to do so without judgment.
There will be times when you don't see eye to eye with your friend. Rather
than demanding that your friend changes their way of seeing things, disagree
respectfully and be willing to see things differently.
Being selfless is an important part of being a good friend. Accommodate your
friend's wishes whenever you can provided this is done in a balanced way in
your friendship. Be there when you're needed and go the extra mile if it's
going to make a big difference for your friend. Reciprocate in kind with
caring deeds and help and your friendship will be strengthened.
6. Watch out for your friend.
If you sense that your friend is getting into some sort of trouble over which
they have little control, such as taking drugs, being promiscuous or getting
too drunk at a party, help him or her to get away from the situation. Don't
assume that they're big enough to care for themselves; this may be the very
time that your voice of common sense is needed to wake them from their fugue.
Don't allow your friend to drive drunk - take their keys and/or drive your
friend home personally.
If your friend begins talking about committing suicide, tell someone about it.
This rule overrides the "respect privacy" step, because even if your friend
begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a help line or
professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend's parents or spouse
first (unless those were the ones causing the problems) before involving
7. Pitch in for friends during times of crisis.
If your friend has to go to the hospital, you could help pack his or her bags;
if her/his dog runs away, help to find it, if he/she needs someone to pick
him/her up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school and give homework
assignments when you know that one is absent and sick at home. Send cards and
care packages. If there is a death in his/her family, you might want to attend
the funeral – or cook and take a dish or a meal over to your friend. Care about
your friend enough to help him or her open up and let the tears roll. Give a
tissue and listen. Really listen openly. You don't have to say anything, just
don't be too upset by hearing sadness or anger, or deep grief. Stay calm and
If your friend is going through a crisis, don't say: "Everything is going to be
all right" if it's not going to be. This goes right along with keeping it real.
It's hard not to say that sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse
than none, and it may undermine your friend's ability to get through the crisis
as well as one might. Instead, tell your friend that "Whatever you decide or need,
I am there for you." If the need is to talk: talk; if it's to sit quietly: sit
there. If the need is to relax and get your minds off of things, offer to take
in a movie or concert "together." Give a sincere hug. Stay honest, but upbeat and
positive. Even a stranger would appreciate a sincere word or possibly a gesture
of a quick hug, or a hand rubbed across the back for just a moment, but don't
8.Give thoughtful advice when asked,
but don't insist that your friend
does as you say.
Don't judge your friend, simply advise them when they reach out for advice
or when they need to hear a little tough love to keep them out of dangerous
situations where they might harm themselves or others. Tell your friend how
you perceive their situation using factual information, and suggest what you
might do in the same circumstances. Don't be offended by your friend listening
to your advice and then deciding to ignore it. Your friend must make their own
decisions. Avoid giving unsought for advice. Allow venting where needed and be
willing to offer advice if it's clear that it's sought. Always ask before
assuming you can give advice.
Avoid saying "You should..." That may feel like you are imposing "should" upon
your friend and they're much less likely to listen.
You don't have to agree––just listen to what is being said. Make sure to stop
talking for a moment and listen. Some people don't really find it interesting
listening to someone talk about your or their feelings 24/7. If you're
monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, your friend isn't getting
anything out of the relationship. For example, don't sigh and groan like the
world is against you. Seek help elsewhere and try to stop being paranoid.
Listening opens space between the two of you and reassures your friend that
you're not judging them.
10. Step back and give your friend space.
Understand if your friend wants to be alone or to hang out with other people.
Allow it to happen. There's no need to become clingy or needy. Friendship
doesn't require that you always have to be paired together. Allowing one
another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing
room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even
11.Don't be selfish.
Grabbing, stealing, envying and/or begging are big nos in the rules of friendship.
The friend will soon get tired of this and eventually move toward more selfless
people who are willing to give the same as one gets, but a good friend will not
demand it, yet one might mention being tired of it. Even if you are a total wreck,
don't expect constant sympathy. Don't expect, demand or abuse generosity or wear
out your welcome. When your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate
quickly. Money isn't, or doesn't have to be, an issue.
Go home when it seems like the time is right; don't be like furniture. Reach for
the door knob and say "Bye." Turn the knob, leave...no one wants to be friends
with a moocher or to feel used.
12. Be forgiving when things go wrong in your friendship.
Hate the act, not the person. If your friend has done something wrong, don't
judge them too harshly. If you really are a good friend, you'll never take
anything against him/her. Everything can be talked about, anyway.
Don't use your friends as a measure of your worth––you have value.
13. Live by the golden rule.
Always treat a friend as you would want to be treated. Don't do or say anything
that you wouldn't want done to you. Be there through thick and thin as long as
that is how you feel as a true friend. Don't begrudge everything as a favor that
has to be repaid immediately.
14. Seek to deepen your friendship over time.
The more you are with one another, the less you idealize each other and the more
you accept one another for who you really are. This is what being a truly good
friend is really about––caring deeply for each other, warts and all.
15. Be trustworthy.
Keep secrets, never break a promise, and let them know you care. If you don't
think you can keep their secret, don't let them tell you, resist the temptation.
Also, let them know you care by giving actions of love. If you are away, send
them nice letters that mean a lot to both of you. If someone is bothering them
and you know it, stand up for them! It is your job to watch out for them, as if
you want them to watch out for you, and hopefully they do. Be a good guest at
their house and realize that if/when you are truly best friends, their family is
family, and her/his house is home to you.
Make sure your friend doesn't have to spend a birthday alone.
You can hold a party for them (even a surprise party if you
can keep a secret) or take them out to dinner and pay for
Tease friends about something they're proud of. "Hey skinny,"
to someone who's dieting is a good example. The better you know
your friend, the easier it is to find the things they're
sensitive about and use teasing to pick them up instead of tearing
Enjoy one another's company. It's not all about bleeding hearts
and advice to the lovelorn––or at least, it shouldn't be. Be sure
to have fun together and do spontaneous activities now and then.
Be a positive force in your friend's life.
You don't have to spend a lot of money to be a good friend. The
best gifts are often handmade and come from the heart, or are
simply about giving of your time and skills.
Don't set too many expectations and rules. That's just trapping
other people in your dimension. Allowing your friendship to
evolve and change naturally is really best - it allows your friend
to be as unique and individual as you are, and for both of you to
enjoy one another in that light.
If your friend is in any difficulty and behaves in a way that's
very hurtful (like a put-down) to you, don't be overly angry.
Try to understand their problems.
Take initiative. When your friend is in need, reach out and do
the things that will make their experience easier.
A friend who is only available at school or work is still a friend.
Be very glad for that special kind of friendship associated with
the place you share time together.
Have respect for your friend and yourself. Respect grows relationships
and maintains them.
Good communication is a basic foundation in a friendship. If you and
your friend can't talk to each other freely then you are set up for
a difficult and possibly doomed relationship.
Don't let your friend pay every time you go out, even if it's offered.
Don't help yourself to things at your friend's house without asking,
unless you are willing and that is desired. And practice this advice
at your house too.
If you borrow something from a friend, take good care of it and then
return it without being asked.
If you end a friendship, consider returning any special gifts bought
for you; it's good etiquette, so act in good faith.
Always keep time when you are to meet, even if it is for just a coffee
appointment and always have the courtesy to call if late with a reason.
Sending a text message is simple way of passing simple, important
information as you will be late. This consistency will one day prove
vital when, if you are late without reason, your best friend will surely
inquire of you whereabouts and surely check if all is well with you.
Invite them more to your house. Cook their favorite meal if they are having
a lunch in your house. They will feel the warmth that you are being nice to
them. Play their favorite games instead of yours. You will not want to have
a fight with your friends in your house.
Don't take up all your friend's time. Relax and trust in your friendship,
and allow each other the freedom to be with each other, or with others, or
just alone. You can't decide for them just as you don't want your friend
deciding for you.
When you leave, don't stand in the doorway for up to an hour talking. Close
the door and come in or say goodbye and leave. Especially if your friend
mentions "Don't let the cat out." You could be giving your friend a lot of
trouble for just a few more moments of conversation. If you remember something
you wanted to say, come back in and close the door.
Don't hang out with somebody because you're both "nerds" or you're both "geeks"
or "party-goers." That may be a good way to meet acquaintances but you don't
have to hang out with people just like you. Sometimes the weirdest friend combos
make the best of friends because you can see really different aspects of one
another and bring out the best in each other. Any person can transcend a stereotype
to be the most wonderful person you've ever met in your life - keep your mind open
and form your own opinions.
If your friend doesn't treat you well while you treat them well, then there's no
reason to stay friends. Don't stay close friends with anyone who doesn't treat
No one likes an insulting friend, be careful when you tease them! If your friend
asks you to stop, heed the request.
Never start a fight or a big argument because you're bored.
Don't expect instant or life-long friendship; realize that, if it is to be something
special, it may develop quite gradually.
If your friend is starting to make new friends, don't turn jealous. No one likes a
jealous friend. Have faith in your friendship. And if your friend is talking to
someone else, don't crash their conversation. You'll seem needy and pathetic.
When spending time with your friend, whether having a meal together or just hanging
out, both of you should turn your cell phones off. It's very off-putting to have a
conversation constantly interrupted by a ringing phone. Even asking your friend to
"hold that thought" while you read a text message is rude. He or she may feel that
you're not paying attention to them or don't value your time together.
Do not yell at them if they ditched you. Maybe you will make some new friends instead
of losing one.
Do not ruin your friends life by posting embarrassing drunk videos on Facebook.
How to Be a Good Friend
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Friendship is a relationship between two people who hold mutual
affection for each other. Friendships and acquaintanceship are
thought of as spanning across the same continuum. The study
of friendship is included in the fields of sociology, social
psychology, anthropology, philosophy, and zoology.
Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed,
social exchange theory,
The value of friendship is often the result of friends consistently
demonstrating the following:
The tendency to desire what is best for the other
Sympathy and empathy
Honesty, even in situations where it may be difficult for others to
speak the truth
Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for
Enjoyment of each other's company
Trust in one another
Positive reciprocity — equal give-and-take between the two parties
The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes
without fear of judgement
Making a friend
Three significant factors make the formation of a friendship possible:
proximity, which means being near enough to see each other or do things
repeatedly encountering the person informally and without making special
plans to see each other;
opportunities to share ideas and personal feelings with each other.
Emotional and social development in late adulthood
Having friends is very important for the mental health
among the elderly.
Functions of Elder Relationships Intimacy and companionship
mutual interests, belongingness, and ability to express
feelings and confide in each other Acceptance - late-life
friends shield one another from negative judgments about their
capabilities and worth as a person while aging A link to the
larger community - for elders who cannot go out as often,
interactions with friends can keep them socially interactive
Protection from the psychological consequences of loss - older
adults in declining health who remain in contact with friends
show improved psychological well-being.
Characteristics of Elder Relationships Older adults prefer
familiar and established relationships over new ones, but
friendship formation continues throughout life. With age,
elders report that the friends they feel closest to are
fewer in number and live in the same community. Elders
tend to choose friends whose age, sex, race, ethnicity,
and values are like their own.
Compared with younger people, fewer report other-sex friendships.
Older women have more secondary friends who are not intimates but
with whom they spend time occasionally (group that meets for lunch,
bridge, or museum tours). Through these associates, elders meet new
people and gain in psychological well-being.
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not a true friend—sharing of emotional ties is absent.
An example would be a coworker with whom one enjoys
eating lunch or having coffee, but would not look to
for emotional support. Many "friends" that appear on
social networking sites are generally acquaintances
in real life.
Best friend (or close friend)
A person someone shares extremely strong interpersonal
ties with as a friend.
Blood brother or blood sister
Either people related by birth, or a circle of friends
who swear loyalty by mixing the blood of each member
together; the latter carries the risk of transmitting
infections such as HIV.
An antiquated American term used during the 19th and 20th
centuries to denote two women who lived together in the
same household independent of male support. Relationships
were not necessarily sexual. It was used to quell fears of
lesbians after World War I.
a close non-sexual relationship between two (or more) men,
a form of homosocial intimacy.
In the USA, males and sometimes females often refer to each
other as "buddies", for example, introducing a male friend
as their "buddy", or a circle of male friends as "buddies".
Buddies are also acquaintances that one has during certain
events. The term may also refer to an online contact, such
as the AOL Buddy List. It also refers to a close friend.
Casual relationship or "friends with benefits"
A sexual or near-sexual, emotional relationship between two
people who do not expect or demand to share a formal romantic
relationship. This can also refer to a "hook-up".
A friendship extended to family members of the friends. Close
relation is developed in those societies where family ties are
strong. This term is usually used in the Indian subcontinent.
Means "ally", "friend", or "colleague" in a military or political
connotation. This is the feeling of affinity that draws people
together in time of war or when people have a mutual enemy or even
a common goal. Friendship can be mistaken for comradeship. Former
New York Times war correspondent Chris Hedges wrote:
We feel in wartime comradeship. We confuse this with friendship,
with love. There are those, who will insist that the comradeship
of war is love – the exotic glow that makes us in war feel as one
people, one entity, is real, but this is part of war's intoxication.
Friends are predetermined; friendship takes place between men and
women who possess an intellectual and emotional affinity for each
other. But comradeship – that ecstatic bliss that comes with
belonging to the crowd in wartime – is within our reach. We can
all have comrades.
As a war ends, or a common enemy recedes, many comrades return to
being strangers who lack friendship and have little in common.
Sometimes they even become enemies in another war.
A person having a friend of the opposite sex with having little or
no sexual or romantic activity: a male who has a female friend, or
a female who has a male friend. Historically, cross-sex friendships
have been rare. This is because often men would labor in order to
support themselves and their family, while women stayed at home and
took care of the housework and children. The lack of contact led to
men forming friendships exclusively with their colleagues and women
forming friendships with other stay-at-home mothers.
However, as women attended schools more and as their presence in the
workplace increased, the segregated friendship dynamic was altered,
and cross-sex friendships began to increase. Cross-sex friendship,
once a sign of gender deviance, has been loosened because of the
increase of gender equality in schools and the workplace, along with
certain interests and pastimes such as sports.
Cross-sex friendships are not always a socially accepted norm of amity,
and some of those friendships could develop into romantic feelings.
When these feelings are not mutual, they can often backfire, making it
hard for the two to remain friends.
A portmanteau of the words fr(iend) and enemy, the term frenemy refers
to someone who pretends to be a friend but actually is an enemy— a
proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing in the world of friendships. This
is also known as a love–hate relationship. Most people have encountered
a frenemy at one time or another in the same places one might find
friends —school, work, the neighborhood. The term frenemy was reportedly
coined by a sister of author and journalist Jessica Mitford in 1977 and
popularized more than twenty years later on the third season of Sex and
the City. While most research on friendship and health has focused on
the positive relationship between the two, a frenemy is a potential source
of irritation and stress. One study by psychologist Dr. Julianne
Holt-Lunstad found that unpredictable love–hate relationships characterized
by ambivalence can lead to elevations in blood pressure.
In a previous study, the same researcher found that blood pressure is higher
around friends for whom one has mixed feelings than it is people whom one
a non-physical friend created by a child or even an adult. Sometimes they are
human; other times, they are animals, such as the life-size rabbit in the 1950
Jimmy Stewart movie Harvey. Imaginary friends are also created for people
desperate for social interaction but are isolated from contact with humans and
pets. It may be seen as bad behavior or even taboo (some religious parents even
consider their child to be possessed by an evil "spirit"), but is most commonly
regarded as harmless, typical childhood behavior. The friend may or may not be
human and commonly serves a protective purpose.
a form of friendship or romance which takes place over the Internet. Some internet
friendships evolve into real-life friendships. Internet friendships are in similar
context to pen pals. These friendships are also based on the thought that they may
never meet in real life, they know each other for who they are instead of the mask
they may use in real life.
In the UK, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand, blokes often refer to each other
as "mates", for example, introducing a male friend as their "mate", or a circle
of male friends as "mates". In the UK, as well as Australia, this term has begun
to be taken up by women as well as men.
a relationship, usually between two people, that agree each partner is free to
have sexual intercourse with others outside the relationship. When this agreement
is made between a married couple, it is called an "open marriage".
a friendship in which the friends gather often to provide encouragement and
emotional support in times of great need. This type of friendship tends to
last only when opposing parties fulfill the expectations of support for the
a friendship in which both parties look toward each other for help in achieving
practical goals in their personal and professional life. These friends help
with completing projects, study for an exam, or help a friend move out. These
types of friends value sharing time together, but only if there are no other
priorities and the friend is actually available to help in the first place.
Emotions and sharing of personal information is of no concern to this type of
people who have a relationship via postal correspondence. Now pen pals have
been established into internet friendships with the use of chat or social
networking sites. They may or may not have met each other in person and may
share either love, friendship, or simply an association between each other.
This type of correspondence was encouraged in many elementary school children;
it was thought that an outside source of information or a different person's
experience would help the child become more worldly.
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Making new friends can be difficult, especially when you've
moved to a new city where you don't know anybody, even casually.
But, as an adult, making friends isn't impossible, even when you
feel completely isolated. Most communities have methods by which
you can meet new people who have similar interests. You can also
find friends in unlikely places, like the bookstore or the grocery
1. Start chatting with acquaintances--like family friends and
coworkers--who are around your own age. While you may not
necessarily have strong friendship connections with them, they
may have friends and acquaintances you could meet through them
with whom you have more in common.
2. Search for new friends at places you frequent, like church.
Finding friends at church is easier than in more general locations,
because you are likely to share values and interests with that
other person. Begin a conversation about the day's sermon or about
an upcoming fundraiser to break the ice.
3. Meet other parents at your child's school, if you have children.
You can break the ice by talking about the upcoming school play or
changes to the classroom. Schedule play dates between your children
to give you time to get to know this other adult.
4. Invite acquaintances to do things with you. The possibilities here
are endless, from shopping with a neighbor to catching a basketball
game with a coworker. Try to find things that you and that person have
in common, and tailor your activities around those.
5. Take classes at a nearby community center or college. Enroll
in classes that allow you to be social--like cooking or dancing
classes--wherein you will need to select a partner from other
participants. This will allow you to meet new people with common
6. Gather peoples' contact information, especially new people with
whom you hit it off. Whether it's their telephone number or email
address, have a method by which to get in touch with them so that
you can arrange to see them again.
7. Accept invitations. Regardless of what it is, any invitation that
you receive is an opportunity for you to meet new people who could
become your friends.
8. Keep in touch with new people you meet who you'd like to get to
know better, through phone, email or social networking sites like
Facebook. Hang out with them on a regular basis, whether once a
month or once a week. Over time, relationships develop and deepen,
and you could create a lasting friendship.
Tips & Warnings
Evaluate your expectations before beginning this process, including
your expectations about the longevity of the friendships you wish to
create and the qualities you seek in a friend.
Be yourself. You cannot create lasting friendships by pretending to
be something that you are not. Eventually the truth will come out,
and your new friend will feel betrayed or cheated.
Friendship: How to Make Friends
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How to Make a New Best Friend
How to Find the Best Places to Meet People
How to Develop a True Friendship
How to Make a Friendship Bracelet
Restoring Broken Friendships
How to Repair a Friendship
How to Find a Friend
How to Get A friend to Date You
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Friends and Friendship
The Friendship Page
How to Apologize
How to help a friend who is being abused
How to Make Friends
How to Revive a Friendship
What is friendship?
What Is a True Friend?
Who Is A True Friend?
What is a True Friend?
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